Search Me

Several months ago I (trepidatiously) embarked upon a spiritual “experiment” of sorts. I felt compelled to pray Scripture, imparticular three passages: “Search my heart, O God, and know my thoughts….see if there be any wicked way in me…lead me in your everlasting way. Cleanse my heart, O God, and open my eyes to see wondrous things from Your Word.” Now I admit that while I wanted to pray these things, I was fearful of the results of such bold requests. I felt in some ways as if God might suddenly thrust His scalpel of truth deep into my heart and begin a painful surgery for which I was ill-prepared. Yet, I also felt a yearning for His wise searching to reveal in me the deceitfulness that often keeps me from knowing and pursuing Him.

Thus I have prayed daily for His searching, His cleansing, His opening of my eyes. Sometimes I have felt the painful scalpel dig deep, and sometimes I have waited for a tangible response. One thing I am learning is that God’s methods of searching and knowing are not the methods I expected. His way of cleansing, and opening our eyes come often unexpected to me even when I’ve prayed for them.

This morning I read a delightful passage from Oswald Chambers that God used to expose some deception and misunderstanding that had taken up residence in my heart.  “It is a marvelous moment in the heart of man (or in my case woman) when he knows he is explored by God…the Psalmist speaks of the Creator who knows the vast universe outside and of His omnipresence, but he does not end there. He asks this great God to explore him.”

What I perceived as a surrender of my will in allowing God to “explore me” is really a gift offered by an omnipotent Creator. The One who searches out the universe, who knows the depths of the sea, who’s scaled the heights of Everest, desires to explore me!   It is  none other but my Creator that can truly know me. Even my own searchings of my intricate heart leave me confused. But God, my Creator, explores me! He reveals Himself in me. He reveals my own twisted paths for what they are, and “leads me in His everlasting way.”

One Response to "Search Me"

  • Thanks for sharing today. How brave you are. It is a wonderful challenge, Thanks.

    1 Ruth Aldrich said this (July 6, 2013 at 8:47 pm) Reply

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