One Ultimate Goal

“I think when God tests someone, it’s not for Him to find out something. It’s for that person to learn something about himself and know God better. The test is for the person, not God.” This was Marshall’s insightful comment the other night as we discussed the trials of Job during our family Bible time. What 14 year old can have this depth of understanding without having passed through severe trials himself? My eyes pricked with tears as I embraced this nugget of wisdom from one who had allowed God’s testing to teach him to know God better.

Countless times I have longed to alleviate the boys’ suffering and pain on the journey we have traveled over the past several years. Isn’t it the typical mother’s drive to provide a healthy, safe environment for her children’s optimal growth and satisfaction? But this natural drive in me has been tested to its limits. Ultimately, I have only minimal control over their environment, and if my goal is their safety and happiness, then I am reaching for something entirely out of my own grasp.

I am reminded of my mom’s timeless advice from when Marshall was a baby. “Walk with God, and you will be a good parent.” My drive to protect, to control, to provide an optimal childhood, must be tempered by surrender to my Father’s sovereignty.  For my highest goal, even for my children, must always be to know and love God. And sometimes, that knowing, that loving, comes down the most rugged and painful path, just as Marshall has discovered.

Would I spare Marshall the pain of the past few years at the expense of this precious discovery? Without surrender to my God, I very well may have patched up, crossed over, and developed appropriate damage control tactics to rescue Marshall from his suffering. But my own helplessness has led me to a deeper place of desperate trust. It is God’s grace that has kept me from the easy path. It is His grace that has directed the testing. And Marshall’s intense pursuit of God is nothing but pure and precious grace through severe testing.

2 Responses to "One Ultimate Goal"

  • Love you Friend, what things God has shown you. Thank you for sharing.

    1 Chris Sekunna said this (January 3, 2013 at 10:22 pm) Reply

  • What an incredible blessing Marshall has been with His God-given insights! May he continue to follow hard after God and be a blessing to others in the process!

    2 Joy said this (January 8, 2013 at 8:03 am) Reply

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