Rock Bottom

Sometimes I have to honestly admit, I wonder why life is so hard. The sadness that embraces our family right now is at times overwhelming. And the undulating highs and lows of this summer have threatened to engulf us. Even the unpredictable nature of this move has been harrowing ground for me. I feel as if the past three years of trial and sorrows have been nothing compared to these past three months. It just seems the intensity of our suffering has increased with each step of this journey.  I look into the faces of my precious children and I see their confusion and grief. But I can do nothing, nothing to change their situation.

I grapple with the intense emotions, crying out to God for some relief, some insight, understanding or even perspective in the midst of what seems like senseless sorrow. What are His plans for us? What is He seeking to build into our lives through this season? And most pressing:  Where is God when I am at rock bottom?

The cultural suggestion to rock bottom is there’s no where to go but up. I have come to believe differently. When I have hit rock bottom, I’ve found it’s time to dig deeper, burrowing into the the solid foundation of my Savior’s love and sovereignty. Where is God when I am at rock bottom? He is my Rock bottom. He is the solid in my sea of doubt and despair. He is my security in this ocean of uncertainty. He is my cleft, where my soul burrows  for refuge. As I cry out to God for respite, He reminds me that He is my Respite. He is my Refuge. He is my Rock.

One Response to "Rock Bottom"

  • Oh, Tabitha, I so needed to read these words this morning. Our situations are different, but I too have felt engulfed in despair lately, scraping rock bottom, and wondering how to go on, how to continue to walk my kids through the hard, the illness, the pain, how to walk beside my grieving friend, and ill parents, how to reconcile the much — too much? — of this seemingly endless season. And you gave me words. Burrow deeper. Hide in the cleft.

    And to add my own. Be still in the messy midst of hard and know that HE is GOD.

    I don’t understand this season, these days, the battles my children are fighting, and I am weary of finding the good, of challenging them to go on, to take the next step through the dark, to not give up no matter how much they hurt, but somehow, there is enough strength for the moment, grace for this breath, glimpses of beauty pulling me on…because this life, though it sometimes seems never-ending, is a vapor, a breath, and we are meant for so much more.

    Praying for you and your precious family, Tabitha. Thank you for sharing your journey and your beautiful heart for God. May we cling a little harder, burrow a little deeper together.

    1 Cindee Snider Re said this (August 20, 2012 at 10:24 am) Reply

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