Precious Little Ones

I was snuggling with Roman in our favorite chair this morning. I told him how much I loved him, and how important he is in my life. He loves those words of affirmation. Even at three, he just eats them up. Then he looked at me and said, “I know, how ’bout we get up early tomorrow and go see dad.” It is at once endearing and heartbreaking when he asks to visit Joel.  I love that he wants to see his dad so much and is excited to visit, even though the trip can be a tough one for the little guy. It just feels so wrong that he does not know what it is like to have dad living with us in our home. How do I explain to a three year old, that daddy would do anything to be here, that it is not his choice to be separated from us like he is? It is impossible for him to really understand that. It seems so wrong.

But what my heart clings to, what I know is true, is that God has designs for my children in this long absence, just as he does for Joel and me. He is building grace, kindness, and trust into their lives through this trial. He is loving them personally and intimately. Truly He loves them more than I ever could. If it breaks my heart that they suffer, how much more does it break His. Knowing His love for them is so deep, I can rest assured that He won’t allow them to suffer one minute more than is absolutely necessary. He has their best interest at heart. And like me that “best” for them is to know Him intimately and glorify Him personally.

Their testimony one day will not be what I once imagined, but again, I’m learning to believe it will be better than what I planned or imagined. For they will tell the story of how God was their Father in the fatherless years of their childhood, and how His hand in their family’s life drew them ever closer. They will identify with the fatherless, with the imprisoned, with the downcast, and downtrodden of this world.  Their tender hearts will enter others’ pain. Like the Psalmist said  others will, “see in our history the faithful love of the Lord.” How could they not? And my children get to be a part of that testimony.

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