Not My Plans

So we spent the night in Jesup last night, so we could visit Joel for part of the day today. But alas, upon leaving the hotel this morning, it was apparent that fog would interfere with those plans. We headed off to the prison anyways, and after sitting in the parking lot there for nearly an hour watching the fog thicken, we returned to the hotel. Thus, here I sit at 9 AM in the hotel room, instead of in the visiting room with my sweetie.  Seems like a total waste of time, effort and money, which leaves me frustrated and irritated, not to mention lonely and sad.

All it takes is a bit of fog to totally throw off my plans, which quickly sends my emotions spiraling. I feel ripped off. I pray for God to lift the fog, and try to imagine what He was thinking allowing the day to be foggy to begin with. Then I immediately feel guilty for having such a negative attitude towards God! Do I believe Him for the best or not? And do I really think I deserve an answer for everything? Unfortunately my behavior implies the answer to that.  But guilt doesn’t exactly solve my problem. God can handle my questions. And he doesn’t expect me to forgo the emotions.

Here’s a nugget of truth God gave me last night (Isn’t it just like God to go AHEAD of me), “Don’t complain about your blessings.”  As we sat waiting at the prison entrance another family who was also waiting struck up a conversation with us. This sweet family has come all the way from Louisiana and only have two days to visit. They have to leave tonight and travel 18 hours to get back home for work on Monday! My heart went out to them. And suddenly my plight didn’t seem so intense. My blessing: having the opportunity to visit as often as I do, which may mean I will deal with fog more often. (No this isn’t the first time we’ve faced this dilemma.) I am beginning to see that through these disappointments, God lovingly comforts me, challenges my thinking, and redeems my wasted time.

God’s Word so aptly reminds me that His ways are not my ways. So while I wait in sadness and disappointment, I also enter into an era of expectation, knowing that even though this is not my plan, God is not taken by surprise; He is at work even in the middle of “not my plans.”

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