Is Life Supposed to be Cohesive?

My trip to Nepal already feels like a dim memory from a past life–or the refractions of a lingering dream. “Life” or at least what we tend to sum up as life, has a way of running full speed in a million directions, leaving me wondering if there is any sense to be found.  This seeming randomness to my life is something I see as a problem, an issue to organize and make sense of. My life–or at least the major pieces of it should be connected. But often they aren’t. I don’t mean that I’m too busy or I don’t see an ultimate goal or purpose to life. Sometimes I am too busy but that is not the issue at hand. Admittedly I do lose sight of the ultimate goal and purpose of life at times, but again, that is not the problem I find myself addressing here. Rather it is the reality that sometimes the path to that ultimate goal and purpose doesn’t seem to have a whole lot of intersection with my ideology.

What I experienced in Nepal is a taste of my imagined “divine pattern”.  Everything we did was with one obvious purpose. Our time of fellowship was sweet and cohesive. Every day we woke up with the same immediate desire and goal in place. Every evening as we rehashed the day’s progress with one another, we felt a growing bond and a deep fascination with the obvious hand of God working on our behalf. I love that kind of cohesiveness. I love it when everything is obviously connected, and even the things that aren’t working lead toward an obvious end.

Recently though, I have begun to hear the tender voice of God speak into my random and at times chaotic life, reminding me that often what I view as a problem is actually a design.  By His grace I’m beginning to see the many tendrils of my life as part of living plugged into the vine. My ultimate goal of loving God and enjoying Him forever can and is being realized through a myriad of random relationships, points of service, family responsibilities, and situational trials.

God is showing me that–at least for now–my life isn’t designed to have that kind of obvious purposive bond. Because sometimes what He calls us to is random. And sometimes the pieces don’t fit. Sometimes life is a patchwork of irregular designs that He asks me to hold in faith that one day He will make beauty out of each one. After all, what can be more cohesive than loving, impassioned pursuit of Him?

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