Gut Wrenching Honesty

I have been thinking a lot lately about the value of honest authenticity. It seems our human nature is bent on the fig leaf solution for any perceived blemish. I am constantly aware of the tendency to “spin” events in my own favor, to make me look good. Why? Why do I want to hide? I guess the obvious answer is self-preservation, or damage control. When my highest aspiration is taking care of myself, then every move is calculated in order to take care of me, to make me look good.  But alas, the illusion of control is so flimsy.  My best efforts at taking care of myself, of making myself look good, are ultimately not only wasted, they are an affront to my Creator. Furthermore, those efforts create a barrier, one that prevents the healing hand of God in my life. Jesus said, that only the sick need a doctor. When I am busily promoting my own “obvious” health, I am unable to be cared for my the Great Physician.

Today God suddenly brought Hannah to mind. Hannah suffered greatly as a result of her barrenness. It was a long and arduous road. But Hannah walked that path of suffering with honesty. As a matter of fact, she was so painfully honest with her feelings before God, that Eli mistook her fervor for drunkenness. What strikes me about this story is that when she explained to him that she was not drunk but rather pouring her heart out in agony before the only one who could heal her, Eli did not rebuke her for emotional instability. Instead, he said to her, ‘May it be as you have requested.” And sure enough God heard her cries and gave her a son. Not just any son–Samuel– godly prophet of Israel. Hannah was done with self-preservation. She was aware of her own inability to control her fertility or lack of it. She was face to face with her own frailty and she wasn’t afraid to throw herself at the mercy of God. Hannah’s authenticity is precious. And her faithfulness is evidence of God’s grace.

I am not implying that God is obligated by our neediness, or that His healing will come in exactly the way that we request or expect. And maybe that is why, while I’m compelled and challenged by Hannah’s story, I’m also still a bit hesitant to follow her example. Is authenticity a sure bet? Of course not. Is God’s love safe? Not in the way we picture safety. But He’s good. That is our only sure bet.

 

 


One Response to "Gut Wrenching Honesty"

  • ALL of this is so along the lines we have been pondering! “My best efforts at taking care of myself, of making myself look good, are ultimately not only wasted, they are an affront to my Creator. Furthermore, those efforts create a barrier, one that prevents the healing hand of God in my life.”…such good words to chew on! Thank you for giving them to us!
    LOVE YOU friend!!

    1 Joy said this (June 15, 2013 at 9:59 pm) Reply


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