God Loves me So Much

During this past year, God has challenged me to pray for more and to live like I really believe He is good, that he delights to delight his children. It’s something I have hesitated to write about and am even cautious in what I say about, because I don’t want to give the false impression to anyone that I think God is some kind of cosmic Santa Claus, just waiting for my wish list. On top of that, I don’t want to sound like I’m special so God will do what I ask.  In spite of these concerns, I cannot help but share the beauty of my God and his intimate and loving involvement in life. So please understand me when I say that I’m celebrating the sovereign God who does not bow to anyone’s whim, the God who chooses of his own goodness to “open his hand and satisfy the desire of every living creature”, the God who “graciously gives all things.” Even when the agonies of life distract and dishearten us, this is the God who loves us.

Earlier this year I read “The Hiding Place” by Cori Ten Boom about how her Dutch family had hid Jews in their home during the German occupation of World War II. She and her family all ended up in prison camps under terribly inhumane conditions. In fact both her father and sister died from the unsanitary and harsh conditions. But in that book, Cori shared numerous stories of God’s goodness in the middle of all the ugliness. She shared how the fleas which at first seemed like nothing but a curse, kept the guards out of their particular block, so that they were free to carry on prayer meetings and Bible studies. She shared how God had protected the tiny copy of the Bible that she had been able to smuggle into the prison, and how when she left, he showed her the right person to pass that precious book on to. The amazing thing to me about her testimony was that in the middle of the most traumatic phase of her life, she was able to celebrate a good God who broke through with good gifts.   In other words, her story reminds me that God’s goodness is not deflected or held at bay by the trials of this life.

This is encouraging to me, because some of the “more” that I keep praying for, hasn’t happened yet. Joel is still in agonizing pain from his neck. His probation restrictions still prevent him from traveling with me (or doing a lot of “normal” things in life.) And yet, in other areas, I see God giving brilliant gifts, that are a reminder of his love.

When I was in Alaska last week, I prayed fervently and regularly for God to give us a view of the Northern Lights. We only had 2 nights in the best area for viewing the Northern Lights and the first night was cloudy. But the second night—although originally forecast as cloudy—cleared up. I prayed even more eagerly. And God answered with an display of light across the dark canopy of night. Waves pulsed outward, and green hues gave way to gray disappearing in wisps and then reappearing in new and ghostly shapes! It was an incredible gift, a moment of beauty that was about more than lights in the sky. I watched those lights and thought, “God loves me so much!”  To some people it might have been a lucky night to be in Alaska; to me, it was a purposeful gift from the Creator of the universe.  

So I keep praying for more. I keep asking for healing, for freedom, for expanded ministry. Because I know that a good God who delights to delight His children is always about more—not always on my time table mind you—but always about the more of His good purpose.


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