God Knows What You Need

Somehow as we begin this new year, it seems an appropriate time to assess the past, and evaluate our path for the future. But even as I do that I am reminded how little control I actually have. Yes, I have choices, and yes I am responsible for those choices. How does that fit in with a Sovereign, All-Powerful God? That’s the control part. I have choices, but I don’t have control. My choices, may or may not produce a desired result.

We are beginning our fourth calendar year in which Joel is absent from our home, yet sometimes, I still count wrong when setting places at the dinner table. I remember my sister asking me if the pain was relenting as time progressed. I still don’t know how to answer that question. The pain changes. It’s intensity decreases. But I am not sure decreased intensity makes the pain easier to bear. The only thing that makes it possible to bear at all is knowing that although I have choices, I am not in control; rather a good, all-powerful, loving God is. And He knows just how much pain I can bear. He knows exactly what I need to drive me into Him.

When Joel and I were developing a financial and spiritual support team for our ministry in Venezuela we had a very encouraging meeting with my parents, veteran missionaries who had lived through what we were experiencing. Dad shared how difficult their first few years on the field had been, for many reasons including limited financial support. Shortly after arriving in Venezuela my mother miscarried their third child and had to be rushed to the hospital on the back of a cattle truck my dad ran out and flagged down in the street. This was just one tragic event of their early years overseas. As dad told story after story of the struggles they had faced, what became clear was the amazing spiritual journey God had been taking them on. Dad reminded us of the many friends who were praying for them, and how much they had needed those prayers. I will never forget his concluding words: “God knows what you need, and He will provide it. When things got tough, we didn’t have enough money to turn around and come home, but we had enough prayers to keep us there.”

In 2012 we anticipate some exciting changes: the publishing of my book, Joel’s homecoming, our move to Wisconsin. It’s exciting and scary to think about. What reassures me in my moments of panic is the echo of Dad’s words: “God knows exactly what you need.”

 


3 Responses to "God Knows What You Need"

  • [Sending you big, long-distance hugs and prayers.]

    I was reading Psalms 19 tonight, and surprisingly, verse 4 has been stuck on repeat in my mind:

    “… In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
    It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
    like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
    It rises at one end of the heavens
    and it makes its circuit to the other;
    nothing is deprived of its warmth.”

    Nothing is deprived of the sun’s warmth. I found so much comfort in these words today. Yes, I know that “God is always here, He is always listening, no prayer goes unheard…” I thought of the sun, a gift from the hands of our Creator, never failing to rise and set every single day, whether or not we see even a dim ray of light through a half fallen sky, “nothing deprived of its warmth”… And that’s just talking about the sun. How much more we must surely not be deprived by the sun’s Creator! The knowledge of God always being present was just made tangible for me tonight as I thought about the sun and it’s consistency and reliability, never depriving…

    Ok, long comment. And I don’t even know if what I’m thinking translated well onto “paper”, but wanted to share that with you in case you could draw some comfort or encouragement from it too.

    1 Yvy said this (January 4, 2012 at 11:53 pm) Reply


    • Thanks for the thoughts on Psalms 19. It is truly a comfort and precious reminder.

      2 Tabitha Joy said this (January 8, 2012 at 4:05 pm) Reply


  • Not easy for control freak like me!

    3 Cindy Price said this (January 5, 2012 at 10:52 pm) Reply


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