A Little Update

Obviously I’ve been a bit silent on here lately. Many issues contribute to the dearth. Primarily my trip to Florida to promote my book has taken up most of my time and energy lately. Secondary and tertiary reasons are not really worth elaborating upon. Alas, I just am not always as organized and dependable as I want to be.

I wanted to share some things I’ve been reading and areas the Lord is working on me. But the truth is sharing those things feels just a tad pithy if I am not keeping you up to date on our family. So while I often feel a tension between the personal aspect of this website and the devotional aspect, my desire before God is to blend the two. Authenticity is, after all, essential for true growth and fellowship. Devotion to God in this life, springs from the very experiences and struggles we face. And the two must be taken together or not at all. For truly devotion to God in a vacuum is simply not possible. What God teaches me from day to day may or may not hit you on the journey you travel. But it is much more likely to resonate, if you know the experiences from which these lessons spring.

This week I’m in Florida with Roman and Joel is home with the older two boys. I call each day 2 or 3 times a day to check in and make sure nothing has gone completely awry. Tonight Joel jokingly reassured me, “We’re fine. I think I’ve got this single parent thing down.” To that he quickly added, “But it’s so lonely without you.” Yea, I feel that too. We’re a family again. Every moment together is treasured.

Can I define our life? Can I explain what it feels like to go from functioning as a single parent in the home with three boys in FL working full-time as a teacher, living near family, and traveling to prison twice a month to visit my husband, to living in frigid WI, functioning as a married mom with a dad now present after a three year absence, working as an editor, publishing and promoting a raw and honest memoir, living far from family, and rebuilding a healthy family dynamic? NO I cannot.  And if I could, it’s doubtful anyone would understand.  Joel is home…we are coming into the sunlight. We are breathing deeply the fresh air of a new era. It’s so much transition that trying to describe and define it, leaves me feeling a bit dizzy. It is good. It is busy. It is scary. It is fun. It is amazing. It is painful. It is work. It is exhausting. It is joyful. It is new. It is hopeful. It is uncertain. And yes, I am thrown upon the mercy of God in a whole new way. For my inadequacy is  evident, yet His faithfulness is even more apparent.



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