A Child’s Prayer

Early one morning, before the sun had bathed the day in its light, Roman awoke, and found me by the glow of one tiny lamp and the Christmas lights, in my “quiet chair”. Curling into my lap he snuggled close and asked this profound question, “Mom, when we want something and we pray for it, does God want us to just ask once or to keep asking him over and over.”

I knew immediately he was talking about our desire to go to FL over Christmas break. While Joel and I both feel like going to FL will help us make decisions about a potential move back there, Roman only sees it as getting to be with his grandparents for Christmas. We have been praying about going for several weeks and Joel put all the necessary paperwork in to request permission for travel more than 5 weeks early. But alas, we have no control over this system, and while we can attempt to carry out all expectations on our part, that doesn’t always mean a desired outcome, or even any outcome at all. The waiting game was on.

Now Roman’s question struck deep in my heart as I thought of all our earnest prayers that God allow us to go to Florida. But the days were flying by and no answer was coming. No response. I thought about how easy it would be to answer his question if a specific design created an obligation to the desired result; something like 50 prayers guarantees a  positive response. I thought about God’s sovereignty and His omniscience. He already knows what we want before we ask, so even one time should be more than enough, right? I thought about his omnipotence. He is able to do above and beyond what we ask or think. Because he doesn’t answer the way we want, doesn’t mean He is incapable. And I thought of His intimate relational love.  And this is where I rested.

I told Roman the parable Jesus shared with his followers about the widow who begged the judge for justice until she got it. Then I explained, “Roman, God wants to hear from us and he wants us to keep asking him, all the time knowing  and trusting that He is always loving, always good, always taking care of us, so no matter how He answers, we can feel His love.” Somehow saying it in simple terms, was a catharsis to my own heart.

We are still here, and Christmas is only five days away. Will permission come in time? We don’t know. We hope. We pray. We keep believing that God gives good gifts. And we pray some more.


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